I think that life has twist and
turns, bumps and bruises, heartache and pain to strengthen our small faith. It
amazes me how little time it takes for me to be so spiritually connected, and
then one little thing can separate ME from God, but God does not separate
himself from me, I separate myself from him. I realized something about Jesus
this week, it may be one of my favorite things about him. I have a lot of
wonderful, believing friends and family in my life, and they are all amazing,
but they all change. I dislike change, in fact I despise it. I like how my life
is, I have a loving boyfriend, beautiful family, great church, and hilarious
friends. I always have a plan, and a backup plan, and sometimes one after that.
I have a home, and a fridge full of food, the opportunity for education, and a
voice. Everything is great, I am so blessed and I always will be with my belief
in Jesus. The problem is, I want to freeze time. I don’t want to leave home, or
make new friends, or really do anything out of my comfort zone. I basically
want to live a boring, normal life, that does not change.
Most importantly I don’t want my relationships to change. Now that’s
scary! When a relationship changes, it usually means something is about it will
die, and something new will replace it. I don’t like the dying part. It seems
to me that when that part dies, heartbreak soon follows. Guess what? I figured
out its inevitable for your relationships to change, and it kind of hurts.
Actually, it really hurts. Heartbreak is
the worst pain, it surpasses grief in a way for me, although heartache is a
large part of grief. There are so many
different things that break my heart, human trafficking, women suffrage,
orphans, hunger, and cancer may be just a few. Changing relationships is
another. I value each and every friendship I have, in fact I believe that my
family consists of much more than the 5 of us Lucas’ it’s more like a hundred
brothers and sisters, and a couple moms and dads. I love so many people, but
people change, and so do I. My feelings change, my heart changes, and my focuses
differ, but my God is constant.
"if we are faithless,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."
he remains faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."
2 Timothy 2:13
Always, forever, eternally will my
heavenly father be the same. This truly amazes me , I am captivated with the
thought of having a consistent factor in my life. If I didn’t have something to
ground me, I would be like a house made out of straw, fortunately I am made out
of brick. The wind blows, rain comes,
sometimes a hurricane, a tornado, or an earthquake happens, but I am still
intact, and the only reason why is because of my strong foundation in Christ.
My
prayer today:
Lord as everything shakes and I
feel like I am crumbling, you stand strong. You hold me as I’m weak and hurt.
As my heart breaks for change and different circumstances arrive I will turn to
you the only source of power for me. I will make as great as an effort to shine
you, because I know that in times of trouble, your love holds me and I can use
that love to embrace someone else. I thank you for your heart for me, and for
comforting me as everything is falling, and you are constantly you, loving, and
beautiful you.
Thank you my mighty King Jesus my
heart relents and trusts in you.
Your admiring daughter,
Lexi
I do this for you Lord, and you
alone.
