The Personality Type of People Pleasing

I am... I am a daughter, a sister, a friend and a people pleaser. Although that may not sound like a dangerous, or degrading word, it is. People pleasing is among the most addictive and harmful habits a human can ever develop. People pleasing has run my life for as long as I can remember, and in reality is just a form of insecurity. Over the past 6 months, people pleasing has degraded my self esteem, taken up hours of my time, and brought me to my knees. I could not promote a better book then the book of Galatians for this topic. Over the past week a brother and I have read and dissected this book and its spiritual wisdom. As Paul writes to the churches the Lord instructed him to plant years before, he brings out attributes that reflect the personality type and art of people pleasing. Galatians 1:10 reads "Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the one I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Convicting... right? I am disgusted at the fact that I could not be serving Christ because of my addiction to people pleasing.

When I was called into the presence of the Lord I wasn't instructed by anyone, but saved by Christ alone. So why do I dwell for hours about how if I would have done this, or that he would have, she would have liked me better. People pleasing is not only mentally and physically draining, but spiritually disastrous. I am a slave to my habit of people pleasing, Mathew 6:24 says"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other..." Colossians 3:23-24 says,"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. The scriptures clearly rebuke people pleasers, but it is easier said then done to abandon this lifestyle.

The art of people pleasing is so intricate and intense. Certain people desire certain needs, and therefore your focus of pleasing changes with the person or people you're around. I found that some people like control, others like comfort, and yet others are just lazy. I'm the one who picks up the slack, makes situations easier for others (making it harder for myself), or the one who settles on an idea that may not be spiritually lead, or reflect the light. All, because I genuinely want others to be happy. Pathetic, we were not made to be happy all the time. We were made to grow in the Spirit, to spread truth, and to point everything back to Christ. People pleasing is none of those things, in fact its the opposite. It points my heart, and my desires straight back to the world, and the people on it, and therefore is unhealthy for my Spiritual life. 

 How can I, as the Lord has, rebuke this addiction. Well as in all things, I believe we need to turn back to the scriptures for Spiritual wisdom and instruction. There are three key points to attempt readjusting the personality type of people pleasing.

1. "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load." Galatians 6:1-6 Get yourself an accountability partner! Designate a person that is constantly around you in stressful situations that may tempt you back into people pleasing. As well as an encourager, that can help you release control, and learn how to delegate. Pick someone that is honest, and willing to tell you when you are in sin, and when you need to step back and recenter your focus back on Christ
2.  "How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" John 5:44 . Every time a new task, or opportunity for people pleasing arises ask yourself why you are doing this? If any of the answers include, a need for self praise, the admiration of a person, or the happiness of a crowd do not do it. If it simply is to advance the kingdom then invest every ounce of yourself into doing it.
3.  "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."- Galatians 2:20 I can do nothing alone, along with an accountability partner here on earth with me, and really a heart that desires Christ I can overcome my addiction to people pleasing, and break the habit as a whole. With the Lord as my guide, protector, and rock. 

 I do this for you Lord, and you alone.